Proverbial Contradictions!

Proverbs are popularly defined as short expressions of popular wisdom. The wisdom is in the form of a bit of advice, sometimes, to adopt an attitude toward a situation. However, proverbs often run in pairs, reminding us that for every argument for rationalising our stand in a situation, there is an equally rational opposite stand!

If you agree with me that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

Then "Out of sight, out of mind" should also make you ponder!

Here is a list of 20 cases where ‘words of popular wisdom’ end up conflicting with each other!

1.       A silent man is a wise one.

          A man without words is a man without thoughts.

2.       Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

          Out of sight, out of mind.

3.       Actions speak louder than words.

          The pen is mightier than the sword.

4.       Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.

          Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

5.       Birds of a feather flock together.

          Opposites attract.

6.       Clothes make the man.

          Don't judge a book by its cover.

7.       Cross your bridges when you come to them.

          Forewarned is forearmed.

8.       Great minds think alike.

          Fools seldom differ.

9.       Knowledge is power.

          Ignorance is bliss.

10.     Look before you leap.

          He who hesitates is lost.

11.     Many hands make light work.

          Too many cooks spoil the broth.

12.     Money talks.

          Talk is cheap.

13.     Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

          Better safe than sorry.

14.     The bigger, the better.

          The best things come in small packages.

15.     The more, the merrier.

          Two's company; three's a crowd.

16.     The only thing constant is change.

          The more things change, the more they stay the same.

17.     Two heads are better than one.

          If you want something done right, do it yourself.

18.     What will be, will be.

          Life is what you make it.

19.     What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

          One man's meat is another man's poison.

20.     With age comes wisdom.

          Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings come all wise sayings.

Same-sex Marriage?

The Supreme Court today deferred its hearing on the issue of decriminalisation of gay sex among consenting adults in private and listed the case for a final hearing in February 2012. A bench headed by Justice GS Singhvi adjourned the hearing on the matter after the lawyers involved in the case pleaded that they want to argue the case extensively and it would take time. The apex court was hearing petitions filed by anti-gay rights activists and also by political, social and religious organisations which have opposed the Delhi High Court verdict decriminalising homosexual behaviour.

Source: www.dna.com, November 8, 2011

A gay couple -- from India and Britain -- has tied the knot at a ceremony held at a Hindu temple in as Nepal. Social worker Sanjay Shah, 42, from UK tied nuptial knot at a temple in Teku with S Khan, 30, (name changed) from Gujarat on Tuesday under the aegis of Blue Diamond Society (BDS), an organisation dedicated for the cause of gay and lesbian in Nepal.

Source: www.bbc.co.uk,   June 20, 2011

Durban-based sales advisor Joe Singh and his partner Wesley Nolan solemnised their relationship at a ceremony where a Hindu priest officiated. In the Singh living room, Wesley tied a necklace with a Ganesha pendant around Joe’s neck. The couple, chose the Ganesha instead of garlands because both of them are “staunch Hindus’’ and wanted the Elephant God to “ward off evil and remove obstacles from their path’’.

Source: Times News Network, May 10, 2009

The first historical mention of the performance of same-sex marriages occurred during the early Roman Empire. Emperor Nero is reported to have engaged in a marriage ceremony with one of his male slaves. 

Since 2001, ten countries have begun allowing same-sex couples to marry nationwide: Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, and Sweden. Same-sex marriages are also performed and recognized in Mexico City and parts of the United States. 

Homosexual relations were legally still a crime in India under an old British era statute dating from 1860 called Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code which criminalises 'carnal intercourse against the order of nature.' Eventually, in a historic judgement delivered on 2 Jul 2009, Delhi High Court overturned the 150 year old section, legalising consensual homosexual activities between adults. The judgement stipulates  that every citizen has equal opportunity of life and is equal before law. However, same-sex marriages, as of now, do not have a legal status in India

The institution of civil marriage confers a social status and important legal benefits, rights, and privileges.

Opponents of same-sex marriage use the term “marriage” to mean the social union between one man and one woman. They argue that the basic unit of society is the family, and the primary objective of a marriage is to rear children. They argue that a child has a right to be raised by a father and a mother, in order to strengthen the social fabric.

Proponents of same-sex marriage argue that marriage is a legal status, which grants a couple all its attendant benefits, and must have nothing to do with the sexuality of the partners. They argue the case for same-sex marriages on the basis of human rights- the right to family life.

There are many people in our society who want to walk a different path. Then, offcourse, there is a problem of both transsexuals and inter-sexed individuals, who may not necessarily be categorized into “male” or “female”. Each person has a right to happiness. The big question is not, and most of you will agree, the freedom to be happy. The big questions is, is society ready to sanction this happiness legally?

© Sujata Khanna. All rights reserved.

Relationship Building

“Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.” Richard Bach.

Good times and bad times are cumulation of our decisions and actions. Since no one is perfect, we do tend to take certain decisions that may result in bad patches in our lives. Relationships that we build along the journey of life, our family, friends and loved ones make all the difference during these times. The most essential life skill, hence, is the ability to cultivate support systems in the anticipation of those rough spots. If we can understand this, we can be prepared for life's inadvertent setbacks.Family and friends are frequently primary sources of emotional support. Colleagues and mentors are often sources of career support. Social groups and special interest groups form a support system for stress busting. Relationship networks give us a sense of belonging. We tend to be healthier, happier and more resilent.

Relationship building is a simple function of give and take. Reach out and share yourself with others. Make the extra effort to give help when needed. Appreciate the little things that people do. And, more than anything else, take interest in people’s lives.

The cardinal rule of retaining relationships is staying in touch. Be pro-active in your communication. A simple ‘hello’, once in while, whether by email or SMS can go a long way in forging the relationship. You remind your friend that he/she is in your thoughts. Also, never fail to return calls or messages.

Today’s world is competetive and cut-throat. Sure, we must be focussed on our dreams and goals. But, care must be taken that this does not distance us from those around us. When we reach out for support, we must not find ourselves adrift mid-ocean in the sea of adversity, with no tow-boat in sight.

Support systems are not built in a day. And we cannot build them at once, when we need them the most. They are to be built brick by brick, day by day, so that when we need them, the pillars are in place.

© Sujata Khanna. All rights reserved.