Winning is a worthy goal. But to win, you must first compete. You must
put your heart and soul- your complete focus, energy and skill into the task of
competing. Yet, the odds are, you may not win.
Winning is an expectation that can be met, but not exceeded.
Consistent success is accompanied by heightened expectations,
and any failure to meet those heightened expectations can be magnified greatly.
Losing can have an overwhelming effect on the competitive mind, an effect that
can be best described as ‘agony’. Consequently, the defence
mechanism to this intense mental suffering is ‘agony avoidance’.
One of the major psychological ramifications of agony avoidance is the
development of a ‘winning at all costs’ mindset. This mindset
condones breaking the rules of the game. It is willing to accommodate unfair
means and cheating. This, clearly, cannot be a strategy for long-term success.
Not only can your game be up any time, you will never feel the exhilaration
of a fair win or a boost in your self worth.
The challenge is, therefore, to put it all in the proper
perspective.
Taking a life-long view, the sum of your wins must exceed the sum of
your losses, with the endeavour to maximise the wins and minimise the losses.
Those who fail to take this long view may miss taking on each challenge with
sportsmanship, fair play and personal responsibility, thus, missing out on
the process of constant self-improvement, an essential ingredient in
formulating long term success.
Long term success calls for being able to deal with losing.
A healthy competitive spirit can be developed if you work on cultivating the
following:
- Learning: Turn defeat into a positive learning tool. Find where you fell short, work on your weaknesses, get the little things right and, thus, increase the chance for success the next time you compete.
- Self-motivation: Tell yourself, you gave your best shot then, you will continue to do so always. You must refocus, re-energize and rededicate yourself to compete again.
- Resilience: Get accustomed to dealing with adversity and overcoming obstacles. Each experience will equip you to tide over future difficulties in the workplace and in life.Nobody wins all of the time. It’s what you do with these losses and what you can learn from them that will create future wins. So, let there be no room for self-doubt. Cultivate the resilience required to come back stronger.
Finally, it’s all in the mind!
© Sujata Khanna. All rights reserved.
