Countering Adversity

In order to counter adversity, the first thing to do is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. That’s easier said than done! Changing ones attitude takes effort. A major roadblock to change is procrastination laced with all sorts of excuses. 

You will have to take affirmative action, and you will have to take it now! It begins by your saying,

“I will do these five things every day, and I will start today: 

I will not dwell on the past. I will not think about people who let me down. I will not brood over my past mistakes. 

I will write down an affirmation (a positive quote). Each time a negative thought flashes, I will replace it with the affirmation of the day. 

I will take care to groom myself and look my best. 

I will cheerful and spread cheer. I will return every greeting with a smile. 

I will give my best to whatever I am doing and expect the best results from my efforts.”

When you brood over the past you spend your energy in fruitless activity and get distracted. Replacing negations with affirmations is an effective way of changing your attitude. By repeating an affirmation again and again, it becomes implanted in the subconscious, and becomes a strong motivator to positive action. It is a good idea to pin up your daily affirmation prominently in your work area, so that you can read it often. Also, all round affirmation will happen only when you look at yourself in the best light. When you look in the mirror, you must see a smart, well-groomed individual who can take on the world. It is this that affirms you personality, when you step out. Feeling good about yourself will make you cheerful and more enthused about your work/ calling.

So, even before you start thinking out your strategy to counter the adversity, start taking steps to get into a positive mental framework.

© Sujata Khanna. All rights reserved.

Pakistan's Match-fixing Legacy

“I gave a warning that there should be no match-fixing. I am keeping a close watch. If any such thing happens, we are going to take action,” Mr. Malik said two days ahead of the game in Mohali that will showcase one of the world’s most intense sporting rivalries.

Source: www.thehindu.com, March 28, 2011

Having drawn flak from all quarters of Pakistan for tarnishing the image of his country's cricket players with the nasty "match-fixing" brush, Interior Minister Rehman Malik is now trying to mend fences, blaming the media for twisting his statements. It is this same man who had told the media sometime ago that the Taliban will enter India to disrupt the World Cup matches!

But that apart, in a country that has been riddled with corruption right since its inception, it is only natural that this plague will raise its head in sports. The Pakistani military takes away most of the wealth of the country, leaving very less to be spent on civil society. Hence it is only too natural that a citizen, be he a sportsman or otherwise, will make whatever money he can for himself.

And again, in comparison to cricketers from their neighbour India, Pakistani cricketers make a pittance. In India, the game is well sponsored and the Indian cricket board makes good enough money to pay its players well. Pakistan does not have the industry and private-sector economy which India has, and hence poor sponsorship.

The match-fixing game is controlled by Asian mafia who are quite serious about their business. The network is spread via middlemen to corrupt cricketers. These men know how to entrap young cricketers via the odd gifts, then money and even sexual favours. Add to this the fact that Pakistan's dressing room is unusually hierarchical. The junior has to conform if he is not to be dropped. And, there is no going back once you have taken the money or have been photographed in a compromising position.

It is, therefore, not surprising that Pakistan's cricketing history is rife with match-fixing allegations.

© Sujata Khanna. All rights reserved.

Emotional Baggage

“Emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.” Vincent Van Gogh.

Emotional reactions are like pop-up windows; they come up automatically when your buttons are pushed! You must’ve realised that certain stimuli provoke specific emotions leading to a predictable behaviour in you. And if the wrong buttons are pushed, they trigger negative reactions! All this happens because each one of us is walking around with some emotional baggage.

Emotional baggage can be simply defined as painful memories of mistrust, hurt, loss or rejection carried around from the past.

To be successful and live the life of your dreams, you must meet life’s challenges with equanimity. You must be focussed, clear headed and positive. But, some carry a heavier baggage than the others; hence their progress towards success is slowed down or even fraught with frequent stoppages, simply trying to pull the excess weight.

Emotional baggage manifests itself in many unpleasant ways. It can make you mistrust people, and stop you from having meaningful personal or professional relationships. It can make you too scared to take a step forward because of perceived threats. It can stop you from fighting back for yourselves. It can stop you from asking for support when you most need it, out of fear of rejection or failure. It can make you become a control freak, a yeller, a whiner, an escapist……the list is endless.

Your emotional baggage weighs down your personality. Even when you put up a grand show of being stable, rational and confident, it is lurking in the background to rear its ugly head when the wrong buttons are pushed. Then, it bursts forth with the intensity of a tidal wave to wash away all that you aspire to be.

Since change is an inherent property of the environment around you, you cannot continue to react to situations in a pattern defined by your childhood traumas or other unpleasant experiences. It means you need to get rid of the emotional baggage dragging you down. This task is not easy, but it must be done. Here are four steps to doing it.

# Become aware of your incorrect behaviour!
Accept that your behaviour needs to change and give no excuses or justification for it.

# Recognise the stimulus!
When you find a similar negative reaction repeating itself, try to map the different situations that led to the behaviour. More often than not you will realise that the stimulus to the reaction has been the same.

# Analyse and Forgive!
Try to unearth childhood experiences or other traumas that first caused you to react this way. Forgive those who wronged you then; forgiveness is a great healer. Tell yourself that the people and the situations of the past are not relevant any more. Teach your mind to live in the present instead of the past.

# Plan your Reaction!
Having recognised the stimuli to your emotional responses, you can plan how you will react the next time similar stimuli occur.

Life is a moving stream. If you do not dump excess baggage before you get on to the boat, you will sink. Hence, though the task is daunting, if you have resolved to change, you will succed in sculpting a beautiful personality and be rewarded with a more fulfilling life!

© Sujata Khanna. All rights reserved.